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• Of no distemper, of no blast he died, But fell like autumn fruit that mellow'd long,-- Even wonder'd at, because he dropp'd no sooner.
  Fate seem'd to wind him up for fourscore years, Yet freshly ran he on ten winters more...
• Were you acquainted with the decedent? Yes, sir. Before or after he died?
  -- Richard Lederer "Disorder in the Cou...
• Who was Casper the Friendly Ghost before he died?
• A robot played chess with a punch, But died with a hideous crunch One day when the pawns Appeared to be prawns And he gobbled them up for his lunch.
  -- C. M. and G. A. Maxso...
• Lisa: [wakes up Bart] Bart: Lisa! It's 6am! Something's wrong.
  Dad died! Lisa: No no, he's fine! Bart: Well, whaddya know, I'm relieved. -- "Stark Raving Dad...
• Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY!
  They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere....
• We love our little Johnny He's the best little boy in all the world And we wouldn't trade him for anything That's how much we love him.
  No, we couldn't live without him So that's why, since he died, We keep him safe in our G....
• It shall be said: He died as he had lived: In his sleep.
• ... and living was just a way of passing time until he died. -- Hamish Sankov