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• All a man needs to be elected President is the kind of profile that looks good on a postage stamp.
  -- B.B. Frankli...
• After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with the man who said, "No news is good news.
  In twenty-eight papers, only the rarest kind of luck will turn up more than two or three articles of any interest....
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising
  which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time....
• A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans over and asks, "So, how high can you advance in your organization?
  The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop....
• Being good through life `cause you might go to heaven is like shutting your eyes through a movie `cause you might get your money back.
  -- A. Whitney Brow...
• Affix stamp, post office will not deliver without postage.
• You know you're dieting when postage stamps taste good.
• Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder.
  But not any man is capable of being a good camper....
• A NEW KIND OF PROGRAMMING *** Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical terms that nobody understands?
  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into the hearts of DP managers everywhere?...