Related:

• Being too drunk to fish is like being too fat to bowl - impossible.
• There are a lot of drunk people about to drive home, so drive as fast as you can.
  It's harder for drunk people to hit you....
• I'm not so think as you drunk I am!
• What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?
  And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep....
• This drunk in the movie theater was lying across the seat, going, "Uhh, uhh.
  And the usher says, "Cut the racket, will ya? Sit up in your seat....
• Lovejoy: Can you believe it? They give you five "Q"s and only two "U"s.
  What a world. Marge: That's crazy. Lovejoy: So, what's on your mind, Marge?...
• When was the last time you were drunk?
• On the day of his anniversary, Joe was frantically shopping around for a present for his wife.
  He knew what she wanted, a grandfather clock for the living room, but he found the right one almost impossible to find....
• You are not drunk if you lie under the table. When you no longer order from there, then you are drunk.