Related:

• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• Don't tell a woman she's pretty; tell her there's no other woman like her, and all roads will open to you.
  -- Jules Renard...
• When a woman is speaking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes. -- Victor Hugo
• An old man lost all his money. Seventy years old, hasn't got a dime.
  Who does he blame? His wife. He says, "If you were a good wife, you'd go out and work for me....
• Her body was recovered, she bought a new suit of clothes.
• A little woman fell in love with a man 90 years old--until she made a date with him.
  She goes out with him that night, and a friend says the next morning, "How did you like him?...
• I sent a message to another time, But as the days unwind -- this I just can't believe, I sent a message to another plane, Maybe it's all a game -- but this I just can't conceive.
  ... I met someone who looks at lot like you, She does the things you do, but she is an IBM....
• The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.
  -- Oscar Wilde...
• A woman's appearance depends upon two things: the clothes she wears and the time she gives to her toilet.
  .. Against the first we bring the charge of ostentation, against the second of harlotry....