Related:

• If growing up were fun, I'd have done it already.
• Oh would I were dead now, Or up in my bed now, To cover my head now, And have a good cry!
  -- Thomas Hood (1798-1845) -- A Table of Errata...
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...more than once, you have woken up recalling a dream in some programming language.
• We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children?
  Well, she and I were. -- Mort Sahl...
• Lisa: Mom's police tape isn't a toy, Dad. Homer: Shush, dear.
  You'll wreck Daddy's fun. Ned: [walking up, singing] Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the -- oh my Lord....
• I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere. -- James Thurbe
• James Thurber: "I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.
• I had this Geography teacher Miss Foster, she took us on a school summer camp trip to the Ganwee.
  I had the tent next to her, right. And in the middle of the night I was woken up by this really weird noise....
• If we were meant to get up early, God would have created us with alarm clocks.