Related:

• My house was trashed by 'Not me'
• They asked me whether I wanted 20-year financing on my house and I said, 'Make it 50!
  The apocalypse is coming, so who cares!' -- Jon Lewi...
• I use windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my computer!
• Men have not found the words for it nor the deed nor the thought, but they have found the music.
  Let me see that in one single act of man on earth....
• I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys.
  I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while....
• Homer: So... how about those rainbow suspenders, huh?
  Bart: Dad...? Homer: Pretty cool way to keep your pants up, eh?...
• My soul is crushed, my spirit sore I do not like me anymore, I cavil, quarrel, grumble, grouse, I ponder on the narrow house I shudder at the thought of men I'm due to fall in love again.
  -- Dorothy Parker, "Enough Rope...
• Homer: Oh, baby. Marge: This was a _wonderful_ idea, Homey.
  [kisses him] Hey, there's a turkey behind the bed!...