Related:

• If you dye your hair, don't use water-soluble dyes.
  It is hell trying to get the colour out of your eyebrows....
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• See a psychiatrist about your hydrophobia. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Stop worrying about your varicose veins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Write to your local council complaining about the lack of mermaid ramps on public buildings.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't become a concert pianist. They use the soft pedal as *well* as the damper.
  Be thankful you never liked organs, because you don't stand a chance....