Related:

• If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
  -- On the door of a Moscow hotel room...
• The young man-about-town enjoyed luxury but didn't always have the means to buy i
  and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he found out the charges for room, meals and golf privileges were $...
• I went to my first computer conference at the New York Hilton about 20 years ago.
  When somebody there predicted the market for microprocessors would eventually be in the millions, someone else said, ``Where are they all going to go?...
• And when with envy Time, transported, Shall think to rob us of our joys, You 'll in your girls again be courted, And I 'll go wooing in my boys.
  -- Thomas Percy (1728-1811) -- Winifreda (1720)...
• How many actresses -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  One, but you should have seen the line outside the producer's hotel room....
• Jasper: Why bother voting? He's guilty. Flanders: Well, we might as well make it official.
  Homer: What does "sequestered" mean? Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together so they can't communicate with the outside world....
• My hotel room is so small that when I die they won't have to put me in a casket.
  They'll just put handles on the room. -- Herb Shrine...
• You know it is going to be a rotten day when... You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk clerk, bell hop, and manager have a "Welcome Back" party for your spouse.