Related:

• ZIGZAG Descriptive of a straight line as drawn by someone who is either extremely intoxicated
  has absolutely no coordination, is racked by indecision about direction, or any combination of the three....
• Woman: Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle, and -- Are you wearing a grocery bag?
  Homer: I have misplaced my pants. Bart After Dark...
• RETURN An experience of sheer terror. Here's some advice for when you want to return goods to their place of purchase.
  - Find the receipt. Okay, so you only bought your product X yesterday, the shop you bought it from probably only sells an X once in a blue moon and the shopkeeper in question has known you personally for a period of decades....
• Homer: Just a minute! [sounds of grunting and paper tearing] Hello?
  Belle: Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very valuable stone gargoyle and....
• I have certainly known more men destroyed by the desire to have a wife and child and to keep them in comfort than I have seen destroyed by drink and harlots.
  -- William Butler Yeats (1865-1939) Attributed...
• I-SPY Simple spelling game which can get a little boring if played consistently for more than four hours at a time.
  So boring, in fact, that you may feel the necessity to play not "I-Spy", but "I-Hit", a game which runs more or less like thi...
• GERM Another of those tiny tiny organisms that you can't see, and often wonder if they haven't just been made up by scientists to hold together the fabric of society.
  Rumour has it that germs were simply designed to get you to wash your hands after going to the lav, to keep soap manufacturers in business....
• NEEDLE An object of evil. It was devised by the evil Count Pierre deNeedle
  one of those French bastards who wore a top hat and was always tying maidens to railway tracks in deserted black-and-white valleys, and setting off nuclear bombs on peaceful Pacific islands....