NEEDLE An Object Of Evil. It Was Devised By The Evil Count Pierre DeNeedle

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NEEDLE
An object of evil. It was devised by the evil Count Pierre
deNeedle, one of those French bastards who wore a top hat and was
always tying maidens to railway tracks in deserted black-and-white
valleys, and setting off nuclear bombs on peaceful Pacific islands.
The needle was designed for two purposes:
- To be found in unexpected places by sitting on it, catching
your finger on it, or having some other part of your anatomy
punctured by it, followed by a loud hailing from the vocal
chords, often the phrase "shit!"
- To infuriate any person trying to sew, by waiting until you
are just about to get the thread through the little hole, then
concentrating all its energies and moving two millimetres to
the right.
-- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA

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