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We Used To Have A Dog. He Begged For Scraps From The Table, And By God, We Fed Him!
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We used to have a dog. He begged for scraps from the table, and by God, we
fed him! Now we have a Spotless kitchen.
-- Phyllis Diller
Related:
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls ... In our house, we have Alka-Seltzer on tap.
If you cook like I do, the best thing I can tell you is not to be sensitive....
We have not lost faith, but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession.
-- George Bernard Shaw...
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Dille...
My God! Are we sure he was a liberal?" "Pretty sure.
They pulled him from a Volvo." -- Doonesbury...
My God! Are we sure he was a liberal?" "Pretty sure. They pulled him from a Volvo.
We must be greater than God, for we have to undo His injustice.
We now have to put a condom on our Macintosh...
Chorus: Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe!...
Theme music and voice from Alfred Hitchcock Prese
) Good evening. I'm sorry, but Steve can't come to the phone now, as he's quite tied up....