Related:

• The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful. My thoughts aren't too clear, but don't run away.
  My girlfriend's a bore; my job is too dutiful. Hell nobody's perfect, would you like to play?...
• At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays.
  But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?...
• A single flow'r he sent me, since we met. All tenderly his messenger he chose
  Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet-- One perfect rose....
• If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat.
  Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection?...
• I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I was perfect--and then my parents got hold of me.
• After I die, wherever my spirit goes, I'm going to try to get back and visit my skeleton at least once a year, because, "Hey, old buddy, how's it going?
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...