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• When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins.
  Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic....
• When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins.
  Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• The old man had lived all his life in a little house on the Vermont side of the New Hampshire-Vermont border.
  One day, the surveyors came to inform him that they had just discovered that he lived in New Hampshire, not Vermont....
• Picard: "Do you know what business they might have together?
  Sarek: "No! No, I never knew what Spock was doing....
• Hibbert: You know, isn't it interesting how the left -- or sinister -- twin is invariably the evil one.
  I had this theory that... Wait a minute. Hugo's scar is on the wrong side....
• Too bad when I was a kid there wasn't a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy
  because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he's just like everybody else....
• There was a man who enjoyed playing golf, and could occasionallly put up with taking in a round with his wife.
  One time (with his wife along) he was having an extremely bad round....
• A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad right?
  And Santa says, "Yes, I do." The little kid then asks, "And you know when I'm sleeping?...
• Harris had the beefstead pie between his knees, and was carving it, and George and I were waiting with our plates ready.
  "Have you got a spoon there?" says Harris; "I want a spoon to help the gravy with....