Related:

• Skinner: Mother doesn't approve of me dating so I need you to keep her busy for a few hours while Edna and I sneak out.
  [sneaks out] Bart: Oh, I can't take much more of this....
• My mother traded with a Ferengi for me when I was a baby.
• When I was born, my family was so poor my mother couldn't afford to use talcum powder on me.
  So she used to douse me with kitchen baking soda ....
• Homer: Ohhhhh... Marge: What? Homer: I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me.
  Friends, co-workers, Tibor... I never thought it'd be my own wife....
• I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.
  -- George Carli...
• As a former fetus, I OPPOSE ABORTION!
• When I was a small boy, I used to watch the marshwarblers swooping in my mother's undercroft.
  And I remember thinking - would Man ever dare do the same?...
• I said to my old husband, "I'm gonna take you out into the country for a picnic.
  Do you like the country?" He said, "Sure I do. When I was a little boy, I used to live in the country....
• I was a tiny baby when I was born. Really tiny. I was breast-fed intravenously.
  I had to have a special nurse 'cause I was so little....