Related:

• Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand.
  So that we can all bask in his gentle decency....
• Q: Why did the lone ranger kill Tonto? A: He found out what "kimosabe" really means.
• Why did the `Real Man' sit in the dark? He couldn't find a new light bulb and was too embrassed to ask.
• Bart: Oh my God, he is like some sort of...non...giving up.
  ..school guy! -- Bart is chased by Principal Skinner, "The Boy Who Knew Too Much...
• Why is it that the best taglines are always much too lo
• Bullets don't kill people, guns don't either, the mafia does.
• Well, anyway, I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that like most books, it had too many words.
  The plot was the same one that all James Bond books have...
• Willy: {Spill it! Where's your brother?} Skinner: {You'd better answer him, Lisa.
  He's a bad man. [Lisa giggles] What are you laughing about?...
• His philosophical works would have suited me better, but when I saw that he doubted everything, I concluded that I knew as much as he did, and that I didn't need anyone's help to be ignorant.
  -- from Candide, Voltaire...