Related:

• Three fellas up in heaven. St. Peter's interviewing them.
  He says to the first guy, "How did you get up here in heaven?...
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• A horrible little boy came up to me and said, `You know in your book The Martian Chronicles?
  ' I said, `Yes?' He said, `You know where you talk about Deimos rising in the East?...
• I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....
• As a kid, I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, "All you can drink for a dime.
  So some kid would come up, plunk down the dime, drink a glass, and then say, "Refill it....
• He was a little "off" I think is the term ... One day he said to me, "I'm gonna fly.
  I said, "I believe ya can, Maynard, I've seen ya do a lot of wild things....
• A rabbi and a priest are sitting together on a train, and the rabbi leans over and asks, "So, how high can you advance in your organization?
  The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a Bishop....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• The honeymooning couple agreed it was a fine day for horseback riding.
  After a mile or so, the bride's mount cantered under a low tree and a branch scraped her forehead lightly....