Related:

• If you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch!
• And the RESET button lets you re-run AUTOEXEC.BAT!
• Happiness is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel how warm it is.
• If you ever become a parent..can I have one of your puppies?
• You may be redneck... if you're arrested for peeing in an ice machine.
• There is no way to get a grip on a dog so that you can give it a legitimate hug.
  You wind up hugging it around some delicate reproductive organ ....
• If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? -- Charles Pierce
• Lisa: They don't like being broken up. Marge: We've got to be realistic, kids.
  Who's going to have a big enough heart to take care of 25 puppies?...
• Big cats can kill you!