Related:

• The lecture the doctor gives you on your weight is called a diatribe.
• If you want to know who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence.
• You know it's going to be a rotten day when... your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
• You know that feeling you get when you are tipping your chair back and you almost go crashing back on the floor but you just catch yourself?
  I feel like that all the time. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You catch yourself balancing a beach ball on the end of your nose.
• You know, you have to be careful not to get yourself locked into this open systems stuff.
  -- IBM executive...
• TV: All-star Boxing was brought to you by "Doctor Marvin Monroe's Family Therapy Center".
  [Dr. Marvin Monroe waves.] Wife: Honey, aren't you going to work today?...
• If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.
  -- Ducharm's Axiom...
• Ducharme's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.