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• Your talents will be recognized. You will be sought out by the x-rated movie industry.
• It is a sad fact that 50% of marriages in this country end in divorce.
  But hey, the other half end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones! -- Richard Jeni...
• If I could read your mind, love, What a tale your thoughts could tell
  Just like a paperback novel, The kind the drugstore sells, When you reach the part where the heartaches come, The hero would be me, Heroes often fail, You won't read that book again, because the ending is just too hard to take....
• When people sit in front of you at a movie theater, never say, "Sit down in front.
  People don't bend that way. -- Jethro Bu...
• Guys should never view x-rated gifs when using a laptop.
• Yawning at X-rated movie: Indecent composure.
• I just broke up with someone, and the last thing she said to me wa
  "You'll never find anybody like me again." And I'm thinking...
• I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
  -- Calvin and Hobbe...