Related:

• Turnip isn't a rude word, Baldrick. It is if you sit on one.
  -- Edmund and Baldrick : Ink and Incapability...
• Baldrick? Who gave you permission to turn into an Alsatian?
  Oh God, it's a dream, isn't it. It's a bloody dream... -- Edmund : Ink and Incapability...
• Something's always wrong, Ballders. The fact that I'm not a millionaire aristocrat with the sexual capacity of a rutting rhino is a constant niggle to me.
  -- Edmund : Ink and Incapability...
• eads) 'Medium sized insectivore with protruding nasal implement' .
  ..doesn't sound much like a bee to me... It's an aardvark!...
• I have a cunning plan, sir. Hoorah! Well, that's that, then.
  -- Baldrick and George : Ink and Incapability...
• Sir, please help me get his coat off. (feebly) Leave it, Baldrick.
  ..it doesn't matter. Yes, it does. Blood's hell to shift - I want to get it in soap....
• Did you miss _me_, my lord? Um..._Baldrick_, is it?
  That's right. No, not really. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Chai...
• If I die, Baldrick, d'you think people would remember me?
  ...Yeah, of course they would. People would always be slapping each other on the shoulders and laughing and saying, 'Do you remember old Privy-Breath?...
• I love you, Doctor Johnson. And I want to have your babies. -- Edmund : Ink and Incapability