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• Warning: Listening to WXRT on April Fools' Day is not recommended for those who are slightly disoriented the first few hours after waking up.
  -- Chicago Reader 4/22/83...
• To prevent baldness, follow the few simple rules which are listed here
  1. Eat at least five ounces of parsnips each day, while standing on your head....
• One of the more difficult aspects of public speaking is waking up the audience after the person who introduced you finishes with the remarks.
• There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
• Those who quote me are fools. -- Confucius Say
• Penguin Trivia #46: Animals who are not penguins can only wish they were.
  -- Chicago Reader 10/15/82...