Related:

• Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear.
  So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, Okay, you say `ass' and I'll say `hell'....
• Rennie's Law of Public Transit: If you start walking, the bus will come when you are precisely halfway between stops.
• The biggest myth, as measured by square footage, is that as you grow older, you gradually lose your interest in sex.
  This myth probably got started because younger people seem to want to have sex with each other at every available opportunity including traffic lights, whereas older people are more likely to reserve their sexual activities for special occasions such as the installation of a new pope....
• The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
  -- Jean Ke...
• I have a friend who told me that the greatest computer system ever built by mankind was by the Druids at Stonehenge.
  Well, that's an old story. But what I like was that he felt that the Druids didn't die out, they just went bankrupt trying to debug the software....
• Lisa: Look, we got a package from the Mr. Sparkle company in Japan.
  Homer: Ooh! [opens package, but only Styrofoam packing peanuts spill out....
• Grampa: Has it ever occurred to you that old folks deserve to be treated like human beings!
  whether they have money or not? Director: Yes, but it passes....