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• I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.
  I haven't had time for tobacco since. TOSCANINI...
• When I was young, I kissed my first woman, and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.
  Believe me, never since have I wasted any more time on tobacco. -- Alfred Toscanini...
• I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that, they just about throw up.
  -- Barbara Bush...
• I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me. The first time I tried smoking pot I didn't know what I was doing.
  I smoked half the joint, got the munchies, and ate the other half....
• Yes... I feel your pain... but as a former first poster (I scored mine a couple months ago) I know what you went through.
  Here's where you screwed up though... YOU DIDN'T PULL THE TRIGGER....
• I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk.
  Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor....
• Days of my life I'd like to forget: The day the doctors told me I was sick.
  The day I had to tell my friends I was ill. The day my hair fell out....
• My, my--65! I guess this marks the first day of the rest of our life savings. -- H. Marti
• When I was a baby, I kept a diary. The first entry i
  Day One: Still tired from the move." I was upset because on my second birthday, I went from being one to being two, and my age doubled in a year....