Related:

• If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.
• Five milliseconds after beginning to chew a mouthful of food, the waiter will arrive and ask if it tastes OK.
  He will be unable to interpret hasty nods of the head, thumbs-up gestures, or words from your spouse, and will wait, staring at you like a stunned ox, until you have chewed, swallowed, and allayed his fears yourself...
• The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively and says nothing.
  -- Henry Haski...
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up and your braces have locked together.
• Marge: I'm sorry: Homer doesn't mean to be rude, he's just a very complicated man.
  [Homer appears at the bedroom window, breaks a plate over his head] Home...
• You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when you wake up to discover your waterbed broke, then you remember that you don't have a waterbed.