Related:

• Once upon a time there was a beautiful young girl taking a stroll through the woods.
  All at once she saw an extremely ugly bull frog seated on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her....
• Homer: Woo hoo! I'm so glad to have my mom back. I never realized how much I missed her!
  Marge: [pause] She's nice. Homer: But...? Marge: I just don't think you should get too excited about the woman who abandoned you for 25 years....
• Theme music from Peter Gunn:) My name is David. What people call me is something else entirely.
  I'm a P.I. It says so on my door. I would have been here to take your call, but then....
• Did you hear about the girl who was so undesirable that she even turned her vibrator off.
• Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, waiting to take you away.
  Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she's gone....
• Silly Sally was baby sitting. But Silly Sally was getting bored.
  Thinking a walk would help, she put the baby in his carriage....
• I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck.
  Marriage is a two-way proposition, but never let the woman know she is one of the ways....
• Wiggum: [gasping, panting] No...no! Wait a minute -- [tries breathing] Bronchial tubes clearing.
  ..asthma disappearing! Acne remains, but....
• Haven't you ever known what it is like to be at peace with your Maker?
  asked the clergyman who was counseling the wayward girl....