Related:

• I can't believe I actually own my own house. I'm looking at a house and it's two hundred grand.
  The realtor says, "It's got a great view." For two hundred grand I better open up the curtains and see breasts against the window....
• And then I woke up.
• A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money. DIRKSEN
• I woke up this morning... then I went back to bed... -- Weird Al _Generic Blues_
• I woke up this morning... ( <- that's the entire song) -- A Short Blues, someone connected to Monty Python, perhaps Neil Innes?
• When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
  I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why?
  It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun at me, let alone fire it....
• Thank God - every morning when you get up - that you have something to do which must be done, whether you like it or not.
  Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you a hundred virtues which the idle never know....
• If you steal a hundred dollars you're a crook, but if you steal a billion dollars you're a multinational business genius.
  -- Peter McWilliam...