Related:

• Fry: You gotta help me, Bender. How can I prove I'm human?
  Bender: You could drop dead. That'd show 'em. Fry: I don't wanna....
• Ah, my friends, from the prison, they ask unto me, "How good, how good does it feel to be free?
  And I answer them most mysteriously: "Are birds free from the chains of the sky-way?...
• Paul: Linda and I both feel strongly about animal rights.
  In fact, if you play "Maybe I'm Amazed" backwards, you'll hear a recipe for a really ripping lentil soup....
• Brad: Folks, I'm often asked about my qualifications.
  Well, I may not have a lot of "credentials" or "training", but I tell you one thing...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Anonymous Noncoward writes, "For my Economics 101 class, I have to pretend to be Bill Gates and write an editorial defending Microsoft against anti-trust charges, citing economic principles.
  To complete such an assignment violates every moral fiber of my body....
• Hello, my friends. You are here now watching this image of me because I have died.
  It probably happened while I was on duty, and quickly, which is what I expected....
• When I went in to buy the fur coat, the salesman told me, "You never in your life saw a coat this luxurious, this fine.
  And he takes the coat and throws it on the floor ....
• Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
  Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....