Related:

• MORTICIAN: He isn't. CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
  DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better! CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment....
• CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there something you can do?
  DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy. [whop] CUSTOMER...
• CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes?
  He won't be long. MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine today....
• clop clop] MORTICIAN: Who's that then? CUSTOMER: I don't know.
  MORTICIAN: Must be a king. CUSTOMER: Why? MORTICIAN...
• MORTICIAN: What? CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
  DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead! MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!...
• MORTICIAN: Bring out your dead! [clang] Bring out your dead!
  [clang] Bring out your dead! CUSTOMER...
• But I don't want to go on the cart..." "Oh, don't be such a baby!
  "But I'm feeling much better..." "No you're not.....
• GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
  GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point....
• FIRST HEAD: Oh! quick! get the sword out I want to cut his head off.
  THIRD HEAD: Oh, cut your own head off. SECOND HEAD...