Related:

• He who hesitates is constipated.
• Marge: Homer, did you know it was a burlesque house when you sent Bart to work there?
  Homer: No, I only learned that four days ago. -- And he's been working there five days, right?...
• WHY GOD WILL NEVER GET TENURE AT ANY UNIVERSITY 1. Only published one book.
  2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. He did not publish it in referenced journals....
• He told us he was going to take crime out of the streets.
  He did. He took it into the damn White House....
• Commenting in Slashdot after Arnold Schwarzenegger's decision to use open-source software in the California governme
  > This is obviously because Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are girly-men....
• Not long ago, there was a little Cajun boy that brought himself in the house.
  And like all little boys, first thing he did, he yell, "Momma!...
• Something better... 1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow....
• Council for the defence was prepared to prove: 1) He shot in self defence, 2) The police did it and stuck the gun in his hand, and 3) He was 100 miles away when it happened.
• Who was the most elastic man in the Bible? Mohab, because he hitched his ass to a tree and walked nine miles.