Related:

• A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests.
  I have some bad news," says the doctor, "and some worse news....
• You tell 'em Doctor, you've got the patients.
• The Doctor is ON.
• Selma: Thank you, doctor. Doctor: Oh, I'm not a doctor.
  -- But I play one on TV!, "Selma's Choice...
• which reminds me of the Carrot family: Ma Carrot, Pa Carrot, and Baby Carrot.
  One fine spring day they decided to go out for a picnic....
• in the operating room, the power flickers] Nurse: Doctor, you weren't supposed to remove his gall bladder.
  Doctor: Put it back! Put it back! -- It was like that when I got here! "(Lurleen on Me)...
• As your Doctor I advise you to drink heavily.
• At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news to the patients.
  The doctor tells the intern "This man in 305 is going to die in six months....
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....