Related:

• Lisa: Dad, can you take me to Dr. Hibbert's office?
  Homer: Why? What's wrong? Lisa: Oh, nothing. I just scheduled a tetanus booster....
• I like sex. (Big letters) Since I don't have sex in your office, and I probably like sex more than you like smoking, please do not smoke in my office.
  -- Sign in office...
• Have you ever wanted to go home and kick the kids??? Get help!!!
• Have you ever been in a restaurant and there's a couple in the next booth being overly affectionate?
  They're necking and groping and you're trying to eat your eggs....
• Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast.
  You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes....
• Homer: [excited] Wait till I tell Marge! Nigel: [with consternation] Oh, yes.
  ..Bouffant Betty. Well, I would prefer if we kept your marriage a secret....
• Sorry that we're not at home. Please leave a message after the tone.
  When we get in, We'll give you a ring. Until then, wait by the phone....
• Brodka: Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simpson? This is detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save security.
  That's right, Don Brodka. Your son Bart has been caught shoplifting....
• 0024 Have you ever invented a computer joke? 0025 .
  .. Did someone not 'get' it? -- from THE HACKER TEST...