Related:

• Don't trust seagulls to explain anything. It's a *fork*, and don't forget it.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Learn to be wary of Japanese and Norwegians carrying spears.
  Anything that's warm-blooded and swims is fair game to them....
• Find a matching pair of shells that feel comfortable.
  This is harder than it seems, especially if the shells are still occupied....
• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Drive a car with an automatic transmission. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Go water skiing, but keep the other ski as a spare.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Talk to fish. Sooner or later, they will talk back.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Act like a cartoon character. Most of your companions will be.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....