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During The Middle Ages, Probably One Of The Biggest Mistakes Was Not Putting On Your Armor Because You Were "just Going Down To The Corner.
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During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on
your armor because you were "just going down to the corner."
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
Related:
Too bad there's not such a thing as a GOLDEN skunk, because you'd probably be PROUD to be sprayed by one.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays.
But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?...
I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
You know what's probably a good thing to hang on your porch in the summertime, to keep mosquitoes away from you and your guests?
Just a big bag of blood. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
If doctors ever tell you that you've "flipped out," don't believe them, and just keep on doing what you were doing, because something tells me "the Man" is behind this.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING?
! -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for a while?
Come on, we're not going to hurt it. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake: straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go "Whoa!
Whoa!" and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...