Related:

• KETTLE Device designed to heat up water, whistle just too quietly for you to hear when it's finished, boil dry, explode and burn your house down.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• NEIGHBOUR One of those people you occasionally smile at when walking down the stree
  but rarely develop such a bond with that they are concerned when your burglar alarm goes off when you're on holiday....
• SCHEMA What you call a diagram when it gets too complicated and impressive to be called a diagram.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• ZEBRA A horse with stripes added. Now available in five different colours, and with optional spots.
  Zebras are now almost extinct, most of their number having been skinned to make pedestrian crossings....
• KHRISTMAS (Well, I had to get it into this week's, didn't I?
  !) Christmas is a wonderful time of year. Just a shame the Christians seem to be trying to take control of it....
• NEWT One of those really small beasties that annoys little kids because they're too small to step on.
  I dunno though - if you were flying along and got caught in the downward air-draught of a descending foot, it'd do serious damage, wouldn't it?...
• Chester: That was a nice film I had once. Last time I try to impress a four-year-old.
  -- You were... the age Bart was... several years ago, "The Day the Violence Died...
• Bart: I guess you don't need it now, but, we had a plan too.
  Myers: Hey, great, listen, write it down and mail it to last week, when I might've cared....
• HAIL Like rain, but harder. Meteorologists have conducted studies about the weather patterns relating to hail
  and the likely occurrence of it, and have concluded that it is most likely to hail when you are walking down the street without even an umbrella for protection....