Related:

• When my freshman roommate at Cornell found out I was Jewish, she was, at her request, moved to a different room.
  She told me she didn't think she had ever seen a Jew before....
• That's life. What's life? A magazine. How much does it cost?
  Two-fifty. I only have a dollar. That's life....
• Maxwell: "Picard, I have to tell you. I was grateful when I realized it was you Starfleet had sent after me.
  Someone who knows what it's really like out here." -- "The Wounded", Stardate 44431.7...
• They say that after a brush with death the world looks different and that was true for me, but by the time I caught my breath, I realized that it was because I had lost my glasses.
  -- Michael Dorris, _The Broken Cord_...
• Five-Minute University teaches you in five minutes what the average college student remembers five years after he or she's out of school .
  .. Say, if you want to take Spanish, what I teach you is "Como esta usted....
• If I had a twit filter, how could I read messages from me
• A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the program on which he was working.
  I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied....
• My initial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I had no character.