Related:

• Sabotage Sea World shows, chanting slogans about "Tail Rights".
  Explain the concept of striking to the dolphins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Learn to be wary of Japanese and Norwegians carrying spears.
  Anything that's warm-blooded and swims is fair game to them....
• Find a matching pair of shells that feel comfortable.
  This is harder than it seems, especially if the shells are still occupied....
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Forget about the problem of ingrowing toenails. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Never fret about losing a single sock in the wash again.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• See a psychiatrist about your hydrophobia. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Stop worrying about your varicose veins. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Learn that sharks aren't just there to be eaten. Some of them are getting the hang of this newfangled role-reversal stuff.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....