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• The gym teacher's name was Mr. Caruso. Mr. Caruso did not speak English.
  He spoke "Gym." One day I was playing basketball and Mr....
• Bart: Hey, guys! Sign my cast? [holds out a pen] Sign my cast?
  [they all walk past] Guys! [they jump in the pool, laughing and playing] Milhouse!...
• Skinner: Edna! Krabappel: Seymour. Skinner: Mind if I sit down?
  Krabappel: It's a free country. Skinner: I, I don't follow you....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Milhouse: Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend any more.
  That's why you couldn't come to the party....
• My friend Lance would call me up. He goes, "Bob ...
  he first guy that gets your daughter--wouldn't that freak you out?...
• Monica: Pete's breaking up with me. All: What?! Monica
  I just checked my messages, and he said that when he gets back from Atlanta, we need to talk....
• My friend Sappo was real depressed. He said, "I can't get any girls.
  I said, "Don't worry, listen, tomorrow we're going swimming....
• Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean of Academics because he was concerned about his players' mental abilities.
  "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the unbelieving dean....