Related:

• Father was coming up the stairs with five gallons of elderberry wine, and he slipped and fell clear down into the basement.
  Fortunately, he didn't spill a drop--he kept his mouth closed....
• He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
• Diogenes the Cynic, when a little before his death he fell into a slumber, and his physician rousing him out of it asked him whether anything ailed him, wisely answered, "Nothing, si
  only one brother anticipates another,--Sleep before Death....
• Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?
  ! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker? Phoebe: No-no-no oh, keep your name, don_t take his name....
• It's so cold ... Father can't milk the cows by hand because he has to wear his wool mittens.
  This tickles the cows. They get hysterical and nothing comes out but cottage cheese....
• He dies twice who perishes by his own hand. Latin Proverb
• A couple of young fellers were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the Game Warden.
  Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like the proverbial bat out of hell, and hot on his heels ran the Game Warden....
• Why, he's no fun, he fell right over!
• There was an old pirate named Bates Who was learning to rhumba on skates.
  He fell on his cutlass Which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates....