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• Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery'?
  -- Jay Leno...
• Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like `Psychic Wins Lottery.
  ' -- Jay Leno...
• If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do
  Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. -- Comedian Jay Leno...
• Guest hosting for Jay Leno tonight is you.
• On Presidents Day you stay home and you don't do anything.
  Sounds like Vice Presidents Day! -- Jay Leno...
• Moe: Hello. Homer: Moe, what are you doing here? Moe
  What? What, a bartender can't come by and say hi to his best customer?...
• If you move the TV any closer to the bed I'll be sleeping with Jay Leno!
• Letterman: And the number one reference that I am running into the ground is.
  .."Homer Simpson"! [music starts, audience laughs] [changes channel to Chespirito who gets his butt pinched] Chespirito...
• Lisa: Oh, there's something unsatisfying about scrubbing these rocks and I think I know what it is.
  [a wave washes a new coat of oil on the once-clean rocks] Marge...