Related:

• A Texan, impressing the hell out of a Bostonian with tales about the heroes of the Alamo, commented, "I'll bet you never had anyone that brave around *Boston*.
  "Ever hear of Paul Revere?", snarled the Bostonian....
• Moe: Clean house, no silverfish. Coulda been very happy here.
  [knock at door] Homer! Homer: Moe! What are you doing here?...
• How do you know she is a unicorn?" Molly demanded. "And why were you afraid to let her touch you?
  I saw you. You were afraid of her." "I doubt that I will feel like talking for very long," the cat replied without rancor....
• Homer: [grabbing Marge] Yer gotta redda kid forrad yarrar!
  Marge: Homer, what is it? Slow down! Homer: [slowly] J'yer gedda ferda redderarrar....
• How do you know when a JAP had an orgasm? She drops her nail file.
• Aren't you a little old to believe in human tales? -- Chrysta's father.
• A princess should not be afraid -- not with a brave knight to protect her.
  -- McCoy, "Shore Leave," stardate 3025.3....
• Caroline! I never knew you knew her! Oh yes! I even touched her once.
  ...Touched her what? Her...once. In a corridor. I've never heard it called _that_ before....
• A German soldier in Paris, 1940. He takes the first girl he sees to a hotel room, has his way with her, and says arrogantly, "In nine months, you'll have a baby.
  Call him Adolf." She replies sweetly, "In two weeks you'll have a rash....