Related:

• I never saw a purple cow I never hope to see one But I can tell you anyhow I'd rather see than be one.
  -- Gellett Burgess I've never seen a purple cow I never hope to see one But from the milk we're getting now There certainly must be one -- Odgen Nash Ah, yes, I wrote "The Purple Cow" I'm sorry now I wrote it But I can tell you anyhow I'll kill you if you quote it....
• If you are over 80 years old and accompanied by your parents, we will cash your check.
• Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow"-- I'm sorry now I wrote it!
  But I can tell you anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!...
• And it's my opinion, and that's only my opinion, you are a lunatic.
  Just because there are a few hundred other people sharing your lunacy with you does not make you any saner....
• You may be redneck... if your boat has not left the driveway in 5 years.
• As you pick up the rusty knife, your sword gives a single pulse of blinding blue light.
• Laugh, and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. -- Anthony Burge
• May you enjoy your wedding feast, then choke on the last bite.
• Whenever you turn on the radio, you hear the last few notes of your favourite song.
  -- Horowitz' Law...