Related:

• Homer: Dad! Abe: Son! Homer: I'm a screw-up. I burned down our house.
  Abe: No, I'm a screw-up. _I_ burned down our house....
• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• he doorbell rings] Bart: [gasps] Quick, Grandma, hide!
  [Marge closes the curtains] [someone pounds on the door, then manages to open it] Abe...
• Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically- carbonated Cassanova.
  Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic....
• Abe: Hurry up! We've got a lot of tonic to sell and a lot of towns to visi
  Frigid Falls, Mount Seldom, Lake Flaccid... Home...
• Homer: Sir! Uh, hello sir! Yes, you look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife.
  So -- [man slugs him in the face] Ow!...
• Homer: You're home safe. Done my duty. See you the next time we need your signature.
  Abe: Aw, you never want to spend any time with me....
• Abe: [points to old TV] There she is, the old Radiation King.
  You'd park yourself right there and watch for hours on end....
• Abe: That's my son up there! Man: What, the balding fat-ass?
  Abe: Uh, no, the...Hindu guy. -- Abe thinks under pressure, "Homer's Barbershop Quarte...