Related:

• Homer: Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement?
  Maybe I could have been something more than I am....
• Abe: Welcome home, Son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail.
  [Marge walks away] What's wrong with your wife?...
• Homer: I think Lisa needs another push on her new tire swing!
  Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel belts are poking me....
• Homer: Dad! Abe: Son! Homer: I'm a screw-up. I burned down our house.
  Abe: No, I'm a screw-up. _I_ burned down our house....
• Homer opens the door resolutely, then unplugs the TV] [the kids, watching it, open their mouths] Home
  [quickly] Kids! Here's $50, why not go to the movies, then take a cab to your aunts' house?...
• Bart: [plays with Sergeant Thug's Mountaintop Command Post, making plane and machine gun noises] Abe
  Hey, watch it with that thing! [a missile launches out the window] My skull is eggshell-thin....
• Marge: Here he is: Rex Harrison and Paul Anka rolled into one.
  Ooh, hmm. That tonic really works -- you and Grampa should bottle it and go into business together....
• Homer: Sir! Uh, hello sir! Yes, you look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife.
  So -- [man slugs him in the face] Ow!...
• Abe: And for the minimal outlay of one dollar, you can take home a bottle of liquid Lothario, distilled Don Juan, catalytically- carbonated Cassanova.
  Lock old Rover in the shed, 'cause man has a new best friend in Simpson & Son's revitalizing tonic....