Related:

• Patty: OK, Sherman, you're a movie expert. Selma: So tell u
  who's gay? Jay: Oh, I don't know...Harvey Fierstein....
• Homer: Oh yeah? [pulls out a trophy] Well _I_ won the belching contest at work.
  [belches in Jay's face] [everyone laughs] Jay...
• Lisa: Mom, I want to honor Bleeding Gums' memory but I don't know where to start.
  Marge: Maybe you could get the local jazz station to do a tribute to him, huh?...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Patty: Homer, um...I'm speechless. You just saved our hides.
  Homer: Please, on top of everything else, don't make me picture your hides!...
• Homer: Oh, how am I going to tell Marge we're broke?
  I need a miracle... [sees smoke leaking from under the front door] [gasps] My house is on fire....
• Marge: Homer, the guest should get the last pork chop.
  Homer: But I'm still hungry! [under the table, Jay's and Homer's stomach growl at each other like dogs] [Homer's frightens Jay's into whimpering] Jay...
• Marge: I knew this would happen. I put you on the jury and you vote for the stupidest film.
  Homer: I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because I'm sleeping with the head of the festival....
• Homer: Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy, but does he know _all_ the words to the Oscar Mayer song?
  Jay: [walking past, singing] Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, [Bart and Lisa join in] That is what I'd truly like to be....