Grampa: [to Selma] Hello Marge. [to Patty] Hello Marge.

Homer: Oh, how am I going to tell Marge we're broke?
I need a miracle... [sees smoke leaking from under the front door] [gasps] My house is on fire....
Marge: [answers the phone] Hello...Yes? Oh my Lord!
Homer's in the hospital, they think it's his heart!...
Patty: Marge, this is Andre. Andre: [with attempted sexiness] Hello.
Selma: I think you two would make a perfect couple....
Selma: Sorry, my mind's made up. Patty: Why do you want to have a baby so bad?
Selma: I got a lot of love to give, and right now my only outlet is my ham radio....
Marge: I need a formal dress for tonight! Patty: You've come to the right place.
Selma: We've got classy duds up the yin-yang....
Selma: Marge's dates get homelier all the time. Patty
That's what you get when you don't put out. [Or maybe Patty and Selma....
Troy: [surprised in disgust] Uh... Hello, beautiful!
John Law tells me I might need to wear these glasses....
Patty: Hmm...am I wrong, or did it just get fatter in here?
Homer: Request permission to slink by. Patty: Permission pending....
Homer: Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work!
Sometimes I think God is teasing me...just like he teased Moses in the desert....