Related:

• Homer: Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food.
  So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back -- or you can go out there and find your dog....
• Bad dog! Bad... neighbor dog!
  -- Homer, "Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish...
• Lovejoy: C'mon boy, this is the spot, right here. That's a good boy, do your dirty sinful business.
  Ned: Well, howdy, Reverend Lovejoy. Nice to see you there ....
• Bart: He's trained to do all sorts of stuff. He can herd sheep and perform CPR.
  Marge: [reads from the manual] Some call it the dog that never sleeps, though it actually does -- while jogging!...
• Twelve hundred bucks?? I better just get one.
  -- Bart orders "quite possibly the World's Best Dog, "The Canine Mutiny...
• Homer: {Whoa, whoa, whoa -- let me get this straight.
  They let everybody out of school early just because _you_ brought a dog?...
• Marge: What's the matter, Bart? Weren't you happy with him?
  Bart: No, he just wasn't the right dog for me....
• Well, we wrecked the first dog. We've gotta treat this one right.
  -- Marge, after Bart attains Laddie the Wonder Dog, "The Canine Mutiny...
• Lisa: Hey, this says we should feed him lots of eggs and olive oil to ensure a glossy coat.
  Homer: Oh yeah. A dog like this you have to feed everyday....