Related:

• Apu: Ah, my old Squishee machine. And my scum bucket with fly!
  And a whole check list. Woods: Hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, aren't you?...
• Apu: He is the benevolent and enlightened president and C.
  E.O. of Kwik-E-Mart -- and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart....
• Apu: Sir, it may surprise you to know that _I_ am an immigrant.
  Homer: You? Pfft, get out. -- Well, duh, "Much Apu About Nothing...
• on "Bite Back"] Kent: Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?
  Apu: No -- I mean, yes -- I mean -- uh oh. [sweats] [Apu turns off the TV] I think I come off very well....
• Inspector: Apu Nahasapeemapetilan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation.
  Apu: But, sir, I was only following standard procedure....
• Homer: Everything _really_ wrapped up nicely. [checks his watch] Ooh, much quicker than usual.
  Marge: I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it....
• Apu: {[holds out a towel] Good morning, sir!} Home
  {Aah!} Apu: {Relax, please. You do not have anything I have not seen before....
• Homer: Well, _that_ was a big bust. Is he _really_ the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
  Apu: [growls, reaches towards Homer] Homer: No need to apologize, Apu...
• Apu: There she is: the world's first convenience store!
  [points to store on top of mountain] Home...