Related:

• Man 1: I need one 29-cent stamp. Apu: That's $1.
  85. Man 2: I'll have $2.00 worth of gas, please. Apu...
• Krusty: [holding a gun] Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
  Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery....
• He slept, he stole, he was rude to the customers. Still, there goes the best damned employee a convenience store ever had.
  -- Apu on Homer, "Lisa's Pony...
• on "Bite Back"] Kent: Apu, will you ever stop selling spoiled meat?
  Apu: No -- I mean, yes -- I mean -- uh oh. [sweats] [Apu turns off the TV] I think I come off very well....
• Apu: He is the benevolent and enlightened president and C.
  E.O. of Kwik-E-Mart -- and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart....
• Tony, you're my agent. You _have_ to do something about this.
  ...How can it be the same movie if they've changed my character from a convenience store clerk to a jittery eskimo firefighter?...
• Hand over all your money in a paper bag!" "Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery.
  I do work in a convenience store you know....
• Marge: Hmm. Apu, we usually store our cans in the cupboard.
  Apu: Oh, they'll never move that way. Lisa: Mmm, corn!...
• Homer: Darn it, Apu, I'm not gonna let them kick you out!
  [pulls a "Yes on 24" button off his shirt] I never should have bought this button....