Related:

• Judge: Mr. Burns, I must warn you that if you continue to disrupt the court in this way, I will have to cite you for contempt.
  Burns: You wouldn't dare! Judge: Well, no, um, I guess I wouldn't. -- "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Oh, it was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. I was driving to the orphanage to pass out toys.
  .. -- Mr. Burns' view of events, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Homer: If I wasn't so spineless, I'd march into Mr.
  Burns' office right now and... Smithe...
• Sorry, offer's expired, I guess we'll just have to let the jury decide, twelve good men and true, Smithers release the hounds.
  -- Mr. Burns realizes that Bart made up his story, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Ah, Simpson. At last we meet. -- Mr.
  Burns, calling Homer in regarding Bart's accident, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Burns: Throw him out, Smithers! Homer: You don't have to do that, Mr.
  Burns. I can throw <myself> out....
• NOOOOOOOO!! TAKE ME!! I'M OLD!! -- Mr. Burns' view of events, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca
• Homer: Mr. Burns, are you trying to get me drunk? Bu
  Yes. -- A brief moment of honesty from Monty Burns, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Burns: I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper.
  It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair....