Related:

• Marge: Why don't we invite Mr. Bergstrom to dinner?
  Lisa: Oh, Mom! That's wonderful! Can I find out his favorite dish and help you make it?...
• Bart: Here's your stupid homework. Lisa: Ooh. Phonics, functions, vocabulary, .
  .. remedial reading? Oh, do your own homework, Bart!...
• Lisa: Hi, Mom. Marge: Lisa! Hello. How are you doing in England?
  Remember, an elevator is called a "lift", a mile is called a "kilometer", and botulism is called "steak and kidney pie"....
• Bergstrom: [enters the classroom, guns ablazin'] Skinne
  Are you the substitute? Bergstrom: Yessir, yes I aim....
• Homer: Okay, now look. My boss is going to be at this picnic, so I want you to show your father some love and/or respect.
  Lisa: Tough choice. Bart: I'm picking respect. -- "There's No Disgrace Like Home...
• That's the problem with being middle-class. Anybody who really cares will abandon you for those who need it more.
  -- Mr. Bergstrom's parting remarks, "Lisa's Substitute...
• Marge: I can't believe I put my own pleasure ahead of my home and family.
  That is so like me. Homer: Oh, Marge, don't blame yourself....
• Bart: Hey, Lis. A moment of your time. Lisa: [stops playing her sax] Yeah?
  Bart: Suppose I was writing my <second> letter to a girl, and I already used up my A-material....
• Boy1: Hey, nice smile. Lisa: Thanks. Boy2: Hey, what are you talking to her for?
  She's just going to say something weird. Lisa...